Movies are filled with good and bad examples of how couples stuggle to relate to each other.
Here is a list of movies you can watch together that should stimulate some good conversations.
Fireproof - Example of a husband accepting responsibility for the marriage, his struggle to pursue his wife, and restoring the relationship.
Prince of Persia - Example of the struggle for unity as a couple, the importance of a man seeking to win her trust, the need to pursue the same goal, and how strong they can be when a woman lets go of her self-reliance, and places her trust in him.
Pride and Prejudice with Kira Knightly - A look into a woman’s view of relationships, and how they want to be treated. Should make for good discussion.
Amazing Grace - Example of how wives can support their husbands. Notice they both share a strong conviction to free the slaves, and she is committed to supporting and him. Every couple should have a common focus.
Princess Bride - A humorous look at a man pursuing, and a woman responding to his pursuit.
Miracle Worker - The story of Helen Keller’s sign language teacher, and her powerful example of loving someone enough to push through the rejection and hurt to connect, and how Helen’s transformation when she received her love. A reminder of the transformational power of loving someone even when it hurts.
Lord of the Rings - A powerful example of the personal struggle to pursue what is right, and not to give in to despair. Notice in the third movie “The Return of the King” the relationship between Sam, Frodo, and Gollum. Gollum tells lies to break the trust between Sam and Frodo. It’s easy to give in to voices that promotes distrust and self-protection. In contrast Frodo needs Sam’s loyalty, companionship, and commitment to him to finish the journey. Discuss how Frodo and Sam's friendship and unitymakes them a strong team.
Victoria and Albert - A great example of the need for wives to include their husbands in their world. It’s a great reminder of the strength of unity in marriage, and why we need to be involved in each other’s lives.
King’s Speech - Great example of a wife caring for her husband and the need to be involved in each other’s lives.
National Treasure - A fun look at unity, effectiveness, and the strong bond a couple can experience when they share a common passion.
A Beautiful Mind - A true story about a man with schizophrenia but overcomes it with the love he receives from his wife.
The PASSION - An amazing picture of God’s love for us. It is graphic, but also very accurate. It gives you a new appreciation for Jesus Christ.
The Man From Snowy River- A great example how confidence, and strong convictions from a man really speaks to a woman’s heart.
Star Trek Into Darkness - The egotistical and talented James T. Kirk is humbled and learns how to take responsibility for his crew and how to earn their respect instead of demanding it.
Spider Man 1, 2, and 3- Peter Parker never gets the girl, until He starts to lead her. Until he steps up and pursues her, she does not know whether or not she can trust him.
Saving Mr. Banks
Here is a move that was tastefully done with a classy vintage feel. Keep the kids at home. It's defiantly a great couple's night out move!
It shows how past history can hold us back from experiencing joy and receiving kindness from others.
Songs are an excellent way to share your deep felt emotions. Finds songs that help your spouse to relate to how you feel.
Below are songs that mean a lot to us.
More by Maile Gibbson
By Your Side by Tenth Avenue
Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney
Annie’s Song by John Denver
I Won’t Give Up by Jason Miraz
Lucky by Jason Miraz
Better Together by Jack Johnson
The One I Say Good Night to by Kina Grannis
Your Love is Extravagant by Casting Crowns
Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath
You Are More by Tenth Avenue North
Here are things we found helpful:
What each couple needs to pursue in their relationship.
Understand how the other person feels
Learn how your spouse communicates, and what words encourage them.
Identify and change behaviors that build walls between you and your spouse.
Acknowledge and forgive past hurts and failures.
Your spouse needs to know they have been heard.
Understanding what you have done, and resist the attitude of “it’s not my fault.”
Learning the importance to understand what each person is feeling, because “what affects you affects me.”
Take responsibility for hurting your spouse.
Value the marriage relationship above all other relationships
Regularly experience joy and celebration!
When your husband comes home, make sure you and the children stop their activities and acknowledge him. If he is to be involved helping you care for you and the children than he needs to be included when he is present. Show your appreciation for the time he spends away from home so you can homeschool and be with your children.
Wake-up and go to bed the same time he does. If your schedules are different it will be very difficult to find daily time together. Don’t let him leave the house without seeing you, nor fall asleep without you.
Guard your one-on-one time with her jealously. Do not let the family business interfere.
Spend time knowing the emotional needs of your wife and children daily.
Initiate a conversation with your wife before you go to bed each night. Listen to her struggles and share yours.
Plan outings (Dates) with your wife to foster deeper conver sations. Husbands and Wives: Confessing to the Lord and to each other our failures, and understanding our roles.
There is no need for you to make elaborate or expensive plans. Just find places that both of you will be comfortable talking. Spend half a day, or a couple of hours. Below are some ideas you can try. Simple and often is the goal. Mix it up and find new places.
Grab some take-out, or dessert and go watch the sunset. Bring candles.
Play Tourist in your town, and enjoy the hotel/resort grounds.
Seek out the waterfront and enjoy view.
Walk to your local farmer's market or fair, and find a place to enjoy the treats.
Take a long walk/hike at a state recreation park. Go for snack afterwards.